{"title":"The Spooky Goosey Collection","description":"\u003cp\u003eOur mascot goose put on a bedsheet and called it a costume. Now she's haunting the back of your shirt, right where the good stuff always lives. Spooky season energy, mid AF effort — exactly as advertised.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"terrified-of-shirtless-cowboys-tee","title":"Terrified of shirtless cowboys Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eGhosts are fine, actually. Vampires, mostly manageable. A shirtless cowboy, though? Hard pass. Nightmare fuel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eIt's giving unbothered by conventional horror, deeply unsettled by rugged Americana, and somehow that combination works better than it has any right to. Wear this on Halloween and let everyone know exactly which costume is going to make you leave the party early.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-9fd32edf-7fff-bf10-d66c-a61ff589f05b\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-7c30bdb3-7fff-fc95-799c-2fafe13bb6ec\"\u003e⚠️\u003c\/b\u003eCautions:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThis fear is valid, documented, and now permanently printed on your back\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eDo not wear to a country line dancing event, risk of exposure is too high\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eWearer's loyalty cannot be guaranteed once a shirtless cowboy enters the room\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47647241666691,"sku":"20992997748642247417","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":47647241699459,"sku":"16222641757284269431","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ S","offer_id":47647241732227,"sku":"26584656662988705670","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Maroon \/ S","offer_id":47647241764995,"sku":"26496806768448291211","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Paragon \/ S","offer_id":47647241797763,"sku":"26280470103087234869","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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Kind words, good vibes, maybe a compliment about your parking. This shirt read the assignment and decided to go a different direction entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eCongratulations on not being dead, that's the whole message, and somehow it's more comforting than half the actual encouragement out there. Low bar, sure, but you cleared it. Wear it as a backhanded pep talk for the person standing behind you in line, and let them wonder if it's a joke or a threat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-d7e5e779-7fff-4463-ee95-db852805fa47\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e⚠️\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCautions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMessage may be read as either encouraging or a mild threat, results vary by reader\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThis shirt has technically not lied to anyone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eSide effects include the person behind you taking several slow steps 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It's spooky in the quiet, confident way, not the jump-scare way. Wear it year-round, not just in October, the spirits don't follow a calendar.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-fd46a01f-7fff-2552-27a0-3924cff70e82\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e⚠️\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCautions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe \"goodbye\" on this shirt should be taken seriously, we don't make the rules\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide effects include being asked \"wait, do you actually believe in this stuff\" at every party\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not use unsupervised, or actually maybe that's fine, we're not your mom\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XS","offer_id":47647660245123,"sku":"17521156091904682972","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 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