{"title":"The Silly Goose","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet's be real: you probably have 5 out of 8 symptoms of ADHD according to a TikTok creator with a tiny microphone. And honestly, we love that for you. Whether you’re clinically diagnosed or TikTok certified Neurospicy, The Silly Goose Collection is your new safe space.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eConsider this your formal invitation. After all,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e this merch is made for the autistically curious and easily distracted. We see you leaving a half-finished craft project in the closet for six months. We know your dopamine comes from chaos and iced coffee, because you literally need the bean juice to make the brain go brrrrrrrrr, Bestie.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou’re not alone in the chaos, either.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e We are a neurodivergent family, and a lot of this random weirdness came straight out of our actual family group chat. Don't judge us. Just embrace the peak \"cute but a total menace\" energy. It’s random, it’s sarcastic, it’s chaotically cutesy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBest of all, we banned front logos because we can’t stand the feeling either.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Every single design is printed on the back, on ultra-soft tees that won't make your skin crawl.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIn a World Full of Ducks, Be a Goose on the Loose. HONK HONK, weirdos.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"move-your-feet-lose-your-money-tee","title":"The Move Your Feet Lose Your Money Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003ePhilosophy is up to interpretation and so is this quote. Whatever it means to you, just wear it with confidence. George Washington was too busy crossing the Delaware to worry about your lack of hustle. If he were alive and mid today, he absolutely would have pinned this quote to his vision board. It's the ultimate motivational quote he definitely, absolutely, 100% said. (Don't Google it, just trust us).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith this shirt, you'll be \u003cspan\u003elooking as fine as America’s OG Daddy while making money moves. Cha-ching!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCaution: \u003c\/strong\u003eDo not add this epic quote to your US History paper.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":47275802427523,"sku":"18870850317362761284","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":47275802460291,"sku":"15057758797226581902","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47275802493059,"sku":"31562054103401351899","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":47275802525827,"sku":"29458367401172036972","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ M","offer_id":47275802558595,"sku":"14849274592985102633","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":47275802591363,"sku":"87635921937291738567","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":47275802624131,"sku":"11831138494275158016","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":47275802656899,"sku":"85532307879933198812","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ L","offer_id":47275802689667,"sku":"12374313777635046940","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":47275802722435,"sku":"55050570492582788961","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47275802755203,"sku":"10599896867403958759","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":47275802787971,"sku":"16828860407733664151","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ XL","offer_id":47275802820739,"sku":"23022622148344285443","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":47275802853507,"sku":"60840146319587581352","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":47275802886275,"sku":"32609036667584431100","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":47275802919043,"sku":"27550959045117084325","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":47275802951811,"sku":"30116835039336107476","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":47275802984579,"sku":"11199402723971541583","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":47275803017347,"sku":"24743979139426957565","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":47275803050115,"sku":"12127728563435379350","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0733\/9999\/2451\/files\/7291429658087894580_2048.jpg?v=1781294955"},{"product_id":"i-am-done-buying-money-tee","title":"I Am Done Buying Money Tee","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eLet’s be entirely real: currency is fake, capitalism is exhausting, and frankly, we are entirely done purchasing money with our labor just to hand it immediately to the iced coffee shop. We are opting out. The bank account is screaming, our dopamine receptors are fried, and the only logical response left is to laugh hysterically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis shirt is for anyone who has ever stared at their banking app, saw a single-digit balance, and thought, \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"108\"\u003e\"You know what? That’s a problem for future me. I’m going to go look at plants.\"\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBasic Colors for Complex Brains:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe kept the palette simple because making decisions is hard. Choose your vibe:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhite:\u003c\/b\u003e Classic, clean, pristine (until you inevitably spill your treat-day iced coffee down the front).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGrey:\u003c\/b\u003e The ultimate \"lazy Sunday on a Tuesday\" shade.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBlue:\u003c\/b\u003e A nice, calming color to distract you from the existential dread.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBlack:\u003c\/b\u003e To match the dark void of your savings account.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eNatural:\u003c\/b\u003e Earthy, cutesy, and perfect for pretending you have your life together.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eStop buying money. Buy this shirt instead. 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A diagnosis? A personality type? A warning label? A love language? Yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAutistical is the word your brain invented because \"a little unhinged but in a charming and specific way\" was too many words for a shirt. You're welcome.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis shirt is for the days when eye contact feels optional, small talk feels like a personality test you're failing in real time, and the lighting in this room is, objectively, too loud. \"I'm Feeling Autistical\" isn't a diagnosis. It's a weather report. And the forecast is chaos with a chance of overstimulation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted on the back because the front couldn't handle it and frankly neither could most people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCaution: \u003c\/strong\u003eThis shirt will make complete sense to exactly the right people and zero sense to everyone else. 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