Products

Buy this shirt for the person who, despite being invited to the Halloween party, chooses to hide in the corner by the food avoiding everyone.

Do not say "boo" out loud while wearing this unless you're fully prepared to back it up. Haunted houses are not a safe space for you anymore.

This shirt opens with a compliment, delivers a moment of genuine relief, and then quietly ends it with one word that undoes everything that came before it. It's the most polite way anyone has ever been threatened in public.

Generation X tee — "The Badass Generation" design on the front. Before all you sissies were born, we were outside till dark with zero supervision. Funny Gen X shirt for anyone who survived latchkey life.

It's not peace, it's grief, and it happens like clockwork every single morning. This shirt is your headstone, your eulogy, and your permission slip, all in one purchase.

This shirt is for anyone who has ever stared at their banking app, saw a single-digit balance, and thought, "You know what? That’s a problem for future me. I’m going to go look at plants." Stop buying money. Buy this shirt instead. (It's Girl Math)

You should buy this shirt! Maybe even 3 of them, because why not? Everyone else has a cool shirt like this.

If "I'm just a girl" has gotten you out of more situations than it should have, congrats, you found your shirt.

If "I'm just a girl" has gotten you out of more situations than it should have, congrats, you found your shirt.

Chronic "I'm just a girl"-ing your way through bad decisions? Then this shirt is for you!

You don't ask nicely. You don't lose your temper either. There's a word for that middle ground, and it's stitched right onto this shirt.

Small logo up front to look civilized, massive logo on the back to announce your presence. Soft, cozy bare-minimum effort for doing absolutely nothing in style.

This shirt exists for the person whose Sunday plans are "throw disc, lose disc, buy new disc, repeat" and who has genuinely cried — actual tears — over a bad throw in front of witnesses.

Disgraced Collection: M.I.L.F. (Man I Love Frisbee) front-print shirt. Made for the "wait, what?" double-take and the laugh that follows.

Brute force, questionable patience, somehow it always works out. This shirt just gave your method a name.

Somewhere between the Constitutional Convention and your last impulse purchase, you decided this was the founding father wisdom worth keeping. With this shirt, you'll be looking as fine as America’s OG Daddy while making money moves. Cha-ching!

Somewhere between the Constitutional Convention and your last impulse purchase, you decided this was the founding father wisdom worth keeping. Bold choice, but here we are.

"Let's not talk about it" has been your entire personality, your default setting, and your final answer for years now. This shirt already said the quiet part so you never have to.

Your entire communication style is a sigh, a slammed cabinet door, and a long silence that somehow says everything. This shirt speaks that exact language fluently and isn't translating it for anyone.

Buy this so you can say "I technically got dressed today." It’s got our elegant logo on the back, so while you look basic AF from the front, you're actually radiating pure chaotic energy.

Bring this to game night and watch at least one person get genuinely nervous about flickering lights. If you are the kind of person who's held a séance and also done a load of laundry in the same weekend, then this is the shirt for you.

Tell people it's about cats. Watch them not believe you for a single second. That confused, slightly concerned look is the entire point of owning this shirt.

You compliment strangers, listen during conversations, and know exactly how to fold a fitted sheet without a struggle. This shirt just says out loud what your ex's replacement is currently benefiting from.